In every relationship there is a beginning, a middle and an end. Yes, I realize this is a rather elementary revelation, but, recent events have allowed my brain the opportunity to think more than is entirely necessary. So, I have found myself, yet again, analyzing my situation, looking for some sort of enlightenment. Not sure if I've found it exactly, but, as you know, I like to share.
This is the tour de force. Let's face it, there is simply nothing quite as magical as the beginning of a relationship. It's all bells and whistles and fireworks and pure, unadulterated hysteria. This is the phase of the relationship where rational thinking goes completely out the window. It is when we lose sleep, lose weight, giggle incessantly, walk into walls, run stop signs and write sappy blogs.
But, in my opinion, there is no better place to be. You are in a state of ridiculous and unimaginable bliss. Happy. Yes, very happy. A stranger in your work place could throw their wallet at you and you'd say, "I think you dropped this!" as you hand it back to them with a genuine smile on your face.
You get my point.
The time frame for the beginning of a relationship varies. I think both parties try to hold onto it for as long as possible, but, inevitably time wears on and the next phase takes over.
The middle of a relationship is usually where things start to get a little gray. You're starting to get more and more comfortable with your partner. You even start to notice characteristics and habits that could and will eventually drive you bat shit crazy, but, for now you overlook them because you are still extremely smitten. As my good friend put it, "You even lose your sense of smell. And then one morning you wake up with them and realize that their breath actually does smell."
In the middle of a relationship most women will notice a rather significant three-way tug-of-war that commences between our head, our heart, and our, uh, lady part. Though last time I checked mine was acting like anything but a lady, but, we will stick with that depiction.
Nonetheless, the head is usually the loser in this precarious phase. The heart and the lady part are completely caught up in duking it out for first place. Up until now, the heart was succinctly in charge.
Now, I must interject that there are times when a relationship never actually does have a middle phase. This happens at the unfortunate and exact time when we allow our lady part to be our decisive body part in the beginning phase. Big mistake. Next thing you know Romeo is "running late for an appointment" and he will "call you later". Naturally, later never occurs. And, you are unwittingly faced with a preemptive ending. Don't let this happen to you.
I was recently educated by a particular Romeo that jumping into bed too early, before you've created a substantial middle, will inevitably lead to a quick and painful ending. The hunter has made his kill....challenge met....game over. Sad, but true.
But, what you fellas may not understand is that there is a VERY short distance between our hearts and our lady parts. They tend to have frequent collisions and it can be very, very confusing! There is an almost useless, fine line between love and lust where we are concerned. We really don't know who to answer to, so we might just throw caution to the wind and hope for the best. Meanwhile the head is exhausted from all of the screaming and foot stomping it's been doing just trying to get a little air time, to no avail.
And, then, one day, you hear it. That faint little hoarse voice in your head saying, "Um, excuse me! Remember me? I'm the one who gives you rational thoughts. Yeah, you've been doing a bang up job of ignoring me, but, we need to talk. NOW!"
This is about the time you notice the crossroad in the distance. And, you get a little nervous because you don't really know which one to take. So, as women we do what comes naturally. We avoid it at all costs. We tell ourselves that it's okay because we're just not quite ready for this relationship to be over just yet so we will just pretend that all is well and sit back and enjoy the ride for as long as we possibly can.
Until we no longer can.
I suppose I could just leave it at that, but, no surprise here, I have a few thoughts about this.
The end isn't necessarily a simple occurrance. It has a tendency to build up over time. You know it's inevitable, you just don't know if and when you'll be ready to stamp the document. Because, as they say, when it's over, it's over.
Or is it? Not always. That's the frustrating part for most of us gals. We like closure. We like things tied up in a neat little bow. But, it's just not always that simple. I guess I can't remember who it was if anyone at all that told me that it would be simple.
The best we can do is move forward. You've ended it. That's a fact. The rest is not up to you. Well, not really. See what I mean? GAH!
So, here it is. In some way shape or form you have an ending. The initial outset sucks beyond anyone's imagination. But, it will get better. This too shall pass....as always, thank you for that gem, mother!
The best thing you can do is remember why you got here, but, don't regret anything. Each and every second meant something to you or you wouldn't have invested so much of yourself into it.
Live, love and learn.
The End.....and, maybe, another Beginning?