Well, it is and it isn't. For the most part, yes, I'd say it is. My life, well, I think most of you know the rhythm of that tune. It's noteworthy, for sure. You have to laugh at it, or you'd just, um, cry?
I have been so ready to close the book on this year. This stupid 2011. Worst year yet. Period. I've been almost twitterpated at the thought of burning said book to fine ash and casting it out to sea. "Be done with ye 'o damned year!"
I won't bother to list my grievances because most of you are well aware of how this past year has played out for me. But, frankly, I wouldn't wish the experiences bestowed upon me last year on even my worst enemy, even if I had one.
Yep. It's worth repeating. This year has sucked.
And, then, almost in time for my book burning party, something funny happened. Not funny in the "ha ha" sense, but, funny in that it was a complete surprise. A very nice surprise.
I met someone.
A man someone. A very lovely one, in fact.
After all of my cynical rants and blathering on about how fantastic it was to be single and now I find myself in a state of almost denial about the fact that I am in a deep state of "like"!! With a man. A very lovely man. Did I mention that already?
Yeah. I've been doing an embarrassing amount of that lately. But, I have to tell ya, it's so great to be reminded of what "this" feels like. If I could bottle "this" and sell it, I'd be set for life! I know you know what I'm talking about. We've all been there, at least once. Or at least I hope everyone has had the opportunity to feel like "this".
"This" could be the cure for divorces. If everyone were to get a prescription for "this" when they were starting to feel a tad bit itchy in their marriage then all would be well again. It would probably be better than well. Things would probably be, well, wonderful.
It really is kind of funny. I feel a little silly, like a silly little school girl.
I am keeping the details relatively quiet from my boys as of yet. But, my 9 year old did ask me who I was going to dinner with last weekend. I wasn't going to lie to him, but, I was discreet.
"Mommy is going out to dinner with a man. We're just friends. That's all sweetie."
Excruciatingly long pause......
"Don't you think you're a little old for that, mom?"
It is soooo different, I will say that. Even at my ripe old age, though, it's kind of like riding a bike. But, not. The difference now is that I am older, maybe wiser, well, probably not, but I do at least have the sense to know that I just need to enjoy the here and now. Lord only knows what tomorrow will bring.
What perplexes me most about my current state is that I feel somewhat guilty about being so stinking happy. I do realize how stupid that sounds, but, I can't help it. My mother is still sick, my father is still in failing health and there are 3 important people in my life who are in crisis mode as we speak and they are weighing heavily on my mind. Who am I to be so happy?
Someone recently said to me, "Don't you think you deserve to be happy?" I actually had to think about it for a minute. Well, yes, I suppose so. But, it's just confusing!
My body is certainly confused. It has completely forgotten how to eat and sleep. Again, I'm not complaining about the first part. That's been a welcomed result of my current state. I guess I am the opposite of most in that I don't eat when I'm happy. I intend to ride this wave as long as I possibly can!
I suppose that I just need to accept the current circumstances of my life as a gift. The good and the bad. And, above all, I need to learn to relax and enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Come what may. Right?
As a reformed doubter and hater of all things romantic, I am happy to report that romance is alive and well. It really has a tendency to sneak up on you when you least expect it. And, you just never know where that someone is going to come from.....possibly even from some fantastic destination somewhere in the Mediterranean..... :)