Baby Steps

I think it may be true. I think that you quite possibly can teach an old dog new tricks. It just takes a little bit longer. 

Patience. I've never really been a fan. We've just never really seen eye to eye. I resist it at all costs, but, for the most part, patience kicks my ass. Every time.  One would think I might have figured it out by now.  It's a work in progress, people. 

My sister ever so gently reminded me recently that I am of the instant gratification school of thought. I want what I want and I want it now. Frankly I don't really see the err of my ways here, but, I guess I do realize that: a. You can't ALWAYS get what you want, and b. Good things (supposedly) come to those who wait. 

Still not a fan, but, ok. I'm on board with the movement. 

So, if you're feeling a little lost at this point or if you think I'm being a bit vague, then, good. That is my intent. 

Skipping along hand in hand with being patient is also the art of being able to relax. And, yes, I do consider this to be an art form. One which I have yet to master. Who am I kidding?  I'm not even in the beginner's class yet. 

Relax?  What the?  Who the heck has time for that?  Times a waistin' folks!

Okay, maybe if I'm sitting on a beach with a full margarita and the knowledge that I still have an entire week to sit there and do just that, then, yes, I can then relax. Until I look at my watch an realize that I only have a week left to relax. And, then I start to get nervous that I won't be able to relax. 

I know. Believe me, I really do know. 

But that's me. Have we met?  I'm not excusing my erratic and sometimes annoying behavior. It's just that I've been this way for 42 years. But, it's never too late to try your hand at something new. I am down with that. ( I'm not at all hip, by the way. I do recognize this.)

I think I've been pretty good at trying new things as of late. So, in an attempt to better myself and possibly put an extension on my expiration date, I will try to focus some/a little energy on relaxing. And being patient. But, if I'm being totally honest, the thought of it makes me uneasy. 

In a sense I guess you could consider this to be my New year's resolution. Though, I've really never been a fan of those either. What I mean is, if you've got something about yourself that you want to change, then change it. Why lay false hope on the idea that you may actually do it in a year's time. 

If I'm coming across as relatively snarly, I apologize. It's just that I recognize that these behaviors of mine have thrown quite a hitch in my giddy up over the years. And being of the Oprah era I think it's time to move forward. Lighten the load, so to speak. It's just that I know it isn't going to be easy. By any stretch. 

One day at a time. 

Really?

Okay. Fine. But I refuse to get rid of my daily planner. That's a deal breaker right there. 

So, if you come across me anytime in the near future and notice me taking deep breaths, sitting down and doing nothing at all or even going to a yoga class for crap's sake, you'll know why. I haven't lost my mind entirely. I'm just trying my best to learn a couple of new skills. For personal enhancement and, honestly, for the personal enjoyment of anyone who knows me well enough. 

Like I said, baby steps.