Ok, if you know me well then you may stop laughing now. And, no, this is not a write up on my fantastic domestic skills. I can sum that up in 1 word: challenged.
I am a wanna-be....a domestic goddess wanna-be.
I admire these women from afar. These happy little homemakers. I am genuinely impressed with their ability to juggle their roles as mother, wife, chef, decorator, handy woman and cleaning lady. And for those who are also able to act as frequent hostess AND career girl AND sex kitten, well, girlfriend, I salute you. But, God forbid they also manage to squeak in a workout here and there. We're bordering on animosity at this point, truth be told.
Seriously, though, at some point, something's got to give!!! Right? It seems relatively inhuman to maintain such a routine. But, dammit, I would certainly love to be in their 4 inch high (what else?) stilettos for just one day!
June Cleaver has been resurrected. The difference is now she's a bitch in the boardroom, a tiger in the bedroom and Ward does half of the chores and the chid care.
Or am I just making this creature up? No, I really don't think so. No! In fact, I know her! I know several of her!
But, it does take some finely honed delegation skills. Just ask Martha Stewart. Turkey Hill was not built in a day, and not just by Martha's hands alone.
My problem is mostly that 5 and 9 year old boys don't take well to delegation. Well, that and it's hard to squeeze in things domestic between blogging, pinning, texting and face booking.
Pinterest. Ah, Pinterest. It is alarmingly addictive. It has reminded me of how much I miss decorating, organizing and, yes, cooking. So I spend endless hours pinning what I want my life at home to look like. It's all very pretty right there on my pin boards. And, then, I log off, close my iPad, look around my home and sigh. It was just a dream. It's gonna take a little more action and a lot less pinning.
Once upon a time I was a domestic goddess. I could paint the living room walls, mulch my flower beds, create a duvet out of a shower curtain, clean the entire house, set a dinner table for 8, prepare a well thought out meal, rock a fabulous new outfit, host an elegant evening in for 6 of our closest friends, get my freak on, clean up the kitchen and paint my nails, all in a days time. No big deal.
It makes me tired just thinking about it now. I wish I still had it in me. Something happened along the way. I lost focus, or something. But, I feel the urge.....the urge to buy storage baskets and to dye my slip covers and to fire up my new Crock Pot. Those seem like reasonably simple ways to ease my way back into goddess mode.
Because, really, there's nothing quite as nice as coming home after a hard day at work to a neat, clean, well-organized and fantastically decorated home where the aroma of some culinary delight wafts through the air.
Just ask Ward Cleaver.