I speak fluent Movie Quote. It's a language that is becoming wildly more prevalent. In fact I think it is a close second now to Chinese. The language itself originated somewhere in Nebraska in the late 1970's, I believe. I have many friends who are also well-versed in Movie Quote. I appreciate the opportunity to come across someone who speaks the language so as not to lose the ability. I know of approximately 6 people with whom I can carry on a conversation in M.Q. Every now and then I'll throw out a line to someone I've recently become acquainted with just to see if they understand me. Always a dissapointment when they don't. But, those who pick up on it, well, they've just inherited a life long friend. Like it or not.
So, here's a little story to test your movie quote skills. I'll highlight the quotes in bold.
Liz and Stella met up outside of their favorite haunt for their regular Friday night girl's night. "Hang on", Stella quipped. "I need to feed the meter." "Well, it's gonna be a long night so we're gonna need a shitload of dimes to fill that baby up!" Liz always had a way with words. "Come on! Let's go. I did the old wax on, wax off treatment and times a waistin'!"
Just then a car swerved by and the male passenger yelled out a few choice words to our duo.
"Nice manners, babe!", Stella screamed. "He called me a baboon. Thinks I'm his wife."
"Yeah, well, stupid is as stupid does. Come on. Let's go inside." Liz was ready to get this evening started.
The bar was swelling with hopeful singles, as usual. "Check out Romeo coming towards us." Stella was always cynical when it came to trolling in bars.
"Hey, ladies. I got a salami I gotta hide. Any takers?" "Oh, surely you're kidding me with that approach?", Stella hissed at him. "No, ma'am, I'm not. And stop calling me Shirley." Liz grabbed Stella by the elbow, "Come on. Let's sit at the bar."
"Ladies. What'll it be? Manhattans, mojitos, cosmos....". Liz's mouth was beginning to water. "OK! OK! You had me at hello. Just surprise us."
Stella heaved a lingering sigh. "What's the matter with you?" Liz mumbled over the top of her martini glass.
"My brother had the day off today so he came over to vent about his cheating wife. And, while he was there his boss called and laid him off!" Stella ranted. "He's so confused he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt!"
Liz shook her head. "You gotta be one dumb mother f#*@$r to get fired on your day off!"
"Liz! You know what your problem is? You're afraid to talk about anything real! You can't handle the truth!"
Liz knew that Stella was right. "I'm sorry sweetie. You know I like Dan. In fact, tell him I'm available. But, the clock's tickin'! He should just take me to bed or lose me forever!" Liz's cackle was as charming as her creative use of the English language.
"God, Liz. It's a good thing that I love you more than my luggage. Let's just turn the serious off and enjoy the rest of our evening. I'll deal with Dan's issues later. After all, tomorrow is another day."
Soooo, how'd ya do? It's a silly thing, I know. But it's all in good fun. Thanks for humoring me! This one was short and sweet today. Parting is such sweet sorrow. But don't worry. I'll be back. :)
p.s. I want to thank you all so much for giving so much attention to my little blog! You are motivating me to forge ahead and continue writing. I have loved every minute of it so far. I will do my best to continue to entertain you. And, humiliate myself! :)